New Blog post: Redefining holiday management in 2022 — R Voice

New Blog post: Redefining holiday management in 2022

Vivien Kretz
Vivien Kretz Member Posts: 78 ✭✭✭
edited January 14 in Everything & Anything

After the holidays, I reflected a lot on why the holidays mean stress for me. And with holidays, I do not just mean Christmas but also Valentine's, Easter and Halloween. And yes, even the summer holidays. Many holidays are awaited by me with a lump in my stomach in fear of spending these days in a not extravagant, boring and therefore shameful way.

Furthermore, I feel like I cannot relax from holidays. New Year's Eve just behind us, Valentine's is knocking on the door already.

In my newest blog post, I decide to take the next step of self-care and re-define my holiday routine.

How do you feel about holidays throughout the year? How do you feel about the societal expectations connected to them?

I explore the topic here, if you like to, give it a read 😊: https://thoughtsinatravelbagx.weebly.com/blog/the-pressure-of-holidays-growing-towards-big-days-instead-of-fearing-them

Comments

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin
    edited January 17

    Lovely post @Vivien Kretz! Thank you for bringing up such an important topic 🙂

    I can relate fully to what you've said about holidays being stressful especially when you're trying to meet extremely high expectations (rarely your own) of doing something "fun", "cool" or "Instagram-worthy". I agree with all the factors listed in your blog post. But I feel like social media also plays a role here.

    I used to let these expectations get to me in the past and have even been angry at myself for not having the BEST possible plans or for not partying on holidays. I feel like I'm much wiser now and like you, I've let go of these expectations to create my own version of the holidays. I deliberately cancelled plans for New Year's Eve because I'd rather spend time watching TV with my loved ones, all snug in our holiday PJs. And it was the best decision ever. Instead of going to a Christmas ball, I spent time getting my feet sandy at the beach 🙂

    You're 100% right. We shouldn't have to feel ashamed or guilty for how we celebrate. Holidays are special, personal time and other people shouldn't get to dictate how we spend it. I am all for this and support your journey fully. In fact, I love it when people tell me how they like to spend holidays, especially if it's something different from what most people might be expected to do. And if you ever feel like you want a non-judgmental listener in your corner, I'm your person! 🤗

  • Vivien Kretz
    Vivien Kretz Member Posts: 78 ✭✭✭

    Thank you @Andrea Hayward . I often feel like after the Christmas holidays are over, we ignore that we are looking at a new year full of holidays and for me at least, the fact that I take my unresolved issue into the new year with all these "important days".

    I 100% agree, social media DEFINITELY plays a huge part in this. You really hit me with the word "instagram worthy". Sometimes I have phases were I consider if the things I do in my life are exactly that: Instagram worthy and I forget to post whatever I want (which is what I usually aim for). Last Halloween, I found myself ignoring the posts of all the people I followed just because I did not want to be presented with how "Instagram worthy" the lives of others were.

    Wow, your holiday management sounds superb! It sounds like you had such a cosy time. You are really listening to yourself and that inspires me. Absolutely amazing!

    "Other people shouldn't get to dictate how we spend it"' - thank you for saying this, I am really trying to remember this. Your post is full of wisdom and things I can definitely take on my way! 😊

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin

    @Vivien Kretz so true. "Instagram-worthy" is a messy rabbit hole and once you fall in, it's quite difficult to come out of it. I realized how problematic it was when a friend sent me 6 pictures of him in the same place, doing the same thing (with minor variations), asking me which ones would be best for Instagram, what filters he should use, what his caption should be...etc. etc. He didn't once bring up what he'd done that day, or where he'd gone or how the experience was. The whole thing felt very off 😐️

    I'm glad we're having this conversation. But let's not be too hard on ourselves. At the end of the day, we're human and slip-ups can happen even when we're aware.

    Yay! Thank you for the encouraging words. I doubt it's wisdom (lol). I'm just happy I was able to add some value to this brilliant thread! 🙂

  • Vivien Kretz
    Vivien Kretz Member Posts: 78 ✭✭✭

    Oh, I totally understand the vibe and how awkward that might have been. Instagram is merely a CHOSEN collection of moments and we make it up to be our lives.

    I once watched this interview with Matty Healy where he said: "For me, Instagram shows what I do. But for the newest generation, it shows who they are and that is brutal." We should take control back and put Instagram in its place.

    Thank you for telling me that slip-ups are okay. I have really been struggling with that. It really is wisdom, I am sure. 😊

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin

    "We should take control back and put Instagram in its place." - LOVE this! You're always blessing us with quotable lines @Vivien Kretz 😍

  • Kakoli Majumder
    Kakoli Majumder Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 251 admin

    This is such an important topic - I'm glad you brought this up Vivien! Like @Andrea Hayward mentioned, I too had a phase when I'd have the pressure to click "instagram-worthy" pictures. To add to my woes, I was terrible at taking pictures. And the added pressure made things worse. I remember spending one holiday clicking the same pictures over and over again, like Andrea's friend - but at the end, realizing that none of them were post worthy. That was when I decided it was really not worth the effort. Once I stopped caring, things were fine really and I could enjoy my holidays more. And to be honest, I don't think my friends found me any less fun or cool for not posting pictures. In fact, without the pressure to perform, my photography skills too seem to have improved considerably. :D

    I actually feel that more than societal expectations, it's our perception of societal expectations that creates the problem - we convince ourselves that society wants us to behave in a certain way. This new year, let's try to treat ourselves kindly - and give ourselves the freedom to relax and enjoy without any guilt or pressure.

  • Vivien Kretz
    Vivien Kretz Member Posts: 78 ✭✭✭

    Exactly, once everything about social media is connected to pressure and expectations, that is when the real issue starts.

    I realised that life really is about making the distinction between what one should care about and which things one should not waste a single thought about. "The pressure to perform" is such an accurate way to put it. I often felt the same and at the end of the day, these apps can be enjoyed too but end up in the "performance corner" too easily.

    What you said about societal expectations really made me think. Thank you so much for that and I totally think that is a great new year's resolution!