New Year Resolutions (but not the conventional ones) — R Voice

New Year Resolutions (but not the conventional ones)

Andrea Hayward
Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin

Year after year, in the first week of January, social media is flooded with posts about New Year Resolutions. Ad campaigns promoting beautiful diaries and planners become almost unavoidable (not that I'm complaining 😄). But on some level, we're all focused on planning and goal-setting for the New Year, or at least thinking about it.

I'm sure we'll all come up with work and career goals for 2022 in our own time. But I wanted to make sure that this year, we're also making resolutions around our personal wellbeing, self-care, the expectations we have of ourselves, and how we treat ourselves 😊

Here they are - New Year Resolutions (but not the conventional ones). Each of these might seem simple, but it's easy to forget about them - especially when work starts picking up. So here's what I want us all to do - Pick one of more of these wellbeing resolutions that you'd like to adopt and practice in 2022

I can't wait to see your comments! 🤩

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Comments

  • Hong Ching Goh
    Hong Ching Goh Member Posts: 49 ✭✭✭

    Actually all three are in my list!! #1 definitely tops the list!

  • Isurika Sevwandi
    Isurika Sevwandi Member Posts: 80 ✭✭✭

    Hey @Andrea Hayward, thanks for giving stimulation right at the start of the new year and I think you mean 2022 even though you have mentioned 2021 (I myself find it is difficult getting used to typing 2022 at this very beginning). Let me commit to these resolutions this year.

    1. Aim for progress instead of perfection - I should definitely count on this because I have the bulk of expectations in my academia this year so looking forward to both accomplishments and disappointments so I am going to enjoy the feeling of step by step progress (either slow or fast) along that journey
    2. Recognize the small cozy moments of everyday life - I am constantly trying to reinvent myself with regard to being the moment alive and getting a bit away from digital media to enjoy nature more. I recently thought of rearranging my daily schedule so that I would have slow living instead of a busy schedule while trying to figure out a way to achieve my goals

    Who else noticed that our resolutions are alike?🤗

  • Omololu FAGBADEBO
    Omololu FAGBADEBO Member Posts: 94 ✭✭✭

    @Andrea Hayward, this is a good idea. To me, all the resolutions should be like a creed for researchers because we often neglect ourselves. This year should be characterised by self scare because it is a mentally healthy and physically able person that can contributes meaningfully to societal development and growth

    One thing at a time😍

  • Yuliya Shtaltovna
    Yuliya Shtaltovna Member Posts: 13 ✭✭

    Well, we also have been thinking about the New Year Resolutions in our Podcast, take a listen -https://youtu.be/DwYQW3l_mec

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin

    @Hong Ching Goh Yay! #1 is very important to me as well. Even if I happen to slip with the other 2, I'm going to try and stay true to this one 🙂

    Do you identify with any of the other resolutions in the image above?

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin


    Agree 100% @Omololu FAGBADEBO. It really is easy to neglect ourselves and forget to take care of ourselves. Our schedules are often so packed, that we end up working on autopilot. And since there's just too much to juggle and we feel like we can't cut out work tasks and chores, we end up cutting into our personal time and self-care time. Here's hoping that this year will be much different and that we're all able to devote time and energy to not just work and other responsibilities, but also to looking after ourselves 🙂

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin

    @Isurika Sevwandi yes, exactly! I felt like it's never too early to start talking about this so why not in the very first week of the year. Also thank you for finding my typo. I've put in the correct year now 😅

    I love that we've picked the same resolutions and also how you've explained it. Like you said, it's all about the journey, being present and enjoying each step of progress 🙂

    I feel like you're making some important changes when it comes to pace of living and I really hope that this new phase works for you in the best way possible 🤗

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin
    edited January 7

    @Asli Telli thank you for adding such wonderful resolutions to the list 🤩

    Respecting each other's need for care and rest is so important! I'm really hoping to see more of this in academia this year. And yes, we'd love to see more of you as well as other members on R Voice in 2022. I feel like we've really grown as a community (not just in number) and we all do our part to offer support in tough times and to celebrate and cheer wholeheartedly in moments of joy 🙂

  • suzanne reinhardt
    suzanne reinhardt Member Posts: 5

    Thanks @Andrea Hayward for tagging me here. My intention for this year is to focus on respecting and honoring my needs. For most of my life I learned to suppress my needs to function. This year I'm going to direct more attention to listening to and recognizing my needs, honoring those needs, and being cautious about feeling shame about having those needs. This is all a lot for me, but I'd already been working on this, and I'm going to continue to do more of this.

    The other suggestions are fantastic too. I'm glad this was brought up as a topic for discussion. Sometimes we need a little push to redirect our attention to caring for ourselves.

  • Tony Nwankwo
    Tony Nwankwo Member Posts: 6

    Hey, @Andrea Hayward I am glad you came up with this. I will go with the first three just in the order they appeared. In fact, even before the year ended, I have already started making plans on how best to be nice to myself (very important). I need it; yes we all need it...... let's go for it and achieve it. The self really requires care and attention at this moment👍️.

    Happy new year to you all !!!

    Cheers

  • Vivien Kretz
    Vivien Kretz Member Posts: 78 ✭✭✭

    Thanks @Andrea Hayward! That list is so cute! ⭐️

    Last year, my friends forced me to take resolutions of this sort, and it was amazing. My resolution was to apologise less. Yes, I am that friend. I know. Terrible. I used to apologise 8 times for not eating meat at the dinner table. I used to apologise for wanting to take the train instead of driving people somewhere in my own car. Now I stand to my decisions and tell people to get along with it. So a huge success there!

    I also worked hard against my body dysmorphia, as I would still fully cover my body with thick fabrics even during hot summer months and feel uncomfortable to show any skin apart from my hands. I am still working on that one and taking this resolution into 2022. I hope I will feel the need to hide less and less. 🧤

    I am also taking your resolution called DOING THINGS AT MY PACE into the new year. I want to look less left and right. I read this quote once that said "Be so focused on watering your grass that you have zero time to check if someone else's is greener" and I am trying to live by this quote a little more each day in this new year.

    Thank you for inspiring me, your initiative really got me thinking. 😊

  • Hong Ching Goh
    Hong Ching Goh Member Posts: 49 ✭✭✭
  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin

    @Hong Ching Goh after reading your comment, I'm wondering if this should be on my list as well. I tend to have trouble asking for help too. Usually, because I tend to ask myself questions like - "Can't you find a way to do it?" or "Can't you learn how to do it yourself?" or "Can't your manage your day better to make time for this?"

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin

    Happy New Year @Tony Nwankwo! I'm so glad to hear that you've been actively thinking about this already. And I completely agree with you - we all deserve our own care and attention. It might sound silly and a little obvious when we type it out like this. But it's also easy to forget about this and neglect ourselves. So I'm glad we're talking about this on R Voice and reminding each other to treat ourselves with kindness and empathy 🙂

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin

    @suzanne reinhardt thank you for sharing this with us. I love this journey for you! ❤️

    I'm so happy that you're trying to listen to and honor your needs this year. "Being cautious about feeling shame for having these needs" is so important and often underdiscussed. I'm really glad you brought this up. I've been guilty of doing this too and I'm sure that other R Voice member can also relate to this. And you're right to say that consciously doing all of what you've said is a lot of work and sustaining it is no easy feat. I really hope that you're able to do this more and more in this new year. Good luck!

  • Shruti Turner
    Shruti Turner Member Posts: 401 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Sorry, I'm late to the party! I've enjoyed reading the thread and hearing poeple's thoughts, journeys and resolutions :)

    I'm not really one for New Years Resolutions of any kind. I find that any time is the right time to set a goal or resolution and get going. Else, if i miss the "start" I wait until another nice start, whether another year or month or week.

    I did however make some "resolutions" ,if you like, for my "new life" in. anew city, which really was only just before the new year. Interestingly, but maybe unsurprisingly, we are on the same wavelength @Andrea Hayward and they were mainly around doing things for myself. Whilst some were about being healthier or more fit or changing job, the heart of them were all about doing what is right for me and what makes me feel good. Here, the phrasing I have found is important.

    Let me explain more clearly with an example..

    Instead of "I'm going to eat well (including less as Christmas got a bit out of hand!) and exercise so I can be fit", my thoughts are "I'm going to eat well and exercise because that helps my physical and mental health improve". I believe this is true for anyone, but in particular I find that my eating and exercise routine directly correlates to my joint condition and therefore my physical and mental health.

    In a similar way, my goals about work are not to be "successful" or to publish X amount, rather to find a balance that gives me what I want from both work and life outside it. If that means securing funding or changing job or something else entirely, that's for me to work out as I learn more about myself over the year to come. I have no doubt what I need/want will change over time and I don't want to be fixated on something for a year because it's a "New Years" resolution ( I know my personality hinders me here!)

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin


    @Vivien Kretz Kudos to your friends for nudging you towards this! 👏

    Congratulations! You deserve to take up space and your voice and views deserve to be heard. Staying firm on your decisions is definitely a milestone. And I'm very happy to see how much progress you've made on this front. I am very sorry to hear that you've had to deal with body dysmorphia. But am glad that you're working towards body positivity and feeling at ease in your own skin. I'm sure that reaching a place where you feel comfortable to talking about this openly, couldn't have been an easy journey. I admire your courage and truly hope that you continue along this path in a way that makes you feel wonderful about yourself ❤️

    Love the quote you shared! Here's to a self-paced 2022 for us all! 🤩

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin

    @Shruti Turner you always make me think! I love it (not complaining at all). Thank you for sharing your take on resolutions. It's very interesting and it's made me wonder whether I need to be waiting for big calendar starts instead of just making my own. Then again, I was the student who couldn't start studying at 4:34 and had to wait for 5:00 so who knows 😄 (#notashamedofthis lol)

    You've adopted a fantastic approach to this, I think - Doing what is right for you and what makes you feel good. I really like the change in phrasing. This year I wrote down personal goals for the first time in my life. I'm already buzzing with thoughts on whether I could do better with the phrasing. I hope that this new outlook works well for you, and most importantly, that it makes you feel content and at peace 🙂

  • Shruti Turner
    Shruti Turner Member Posts: 401 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Haha - I couldn't possibly just leave a sensible comment answering the thread could I facepalm. I'm glad you like the questioning/thoughts I provide! Do let me know when you've had enough though.

    YES!! I was that student (of life) too. It just led (for me) to a whole lot of procrastination..if I looked at 4:59 I'd wait and then miss it and look at 5:01 and have to start at 5:30..the cycle continued...

    It really is exciting to write out your goals! I'm so excited for you. I hope you achieve everything you want to, and if not..take fulfilling steps on your journey. I think for me, the phrasing is important because I can be a pain in the backside and very literal..so the right phrasing helps put me in the correct mindset. In my opinion, it's the mindset that's important!

    I was reading yesterday about the difference between behaviour goals and outcome goals, which was interesting..it sort of ties in with this conversation. I think you'd find it interesting too!

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin

    @Shruti Turner I don't think I'll have ever had enough. I blame this one Anthropology class I took during my Bachelor's. The professor always encouraged us to play devil's advocate and argue both sides of something. So I'm always intrigued by a pov that's not mine and like exploring how I feel about it. Don't worry. You're safe here 😃

    Thank you for saying you were like that as a student too. SO much validation! Missing the 5:00 mark and then having to start at 5:30 is familiar for me too 😅 (not any more though, so I've made quite some progress)

    I like this - taking fulfilling steps on my journey. It really ties in well with my efforts to focus more on my progress and not only on reaching the goal this year

    You're right! I am definitely interested in behavior vs outcome goals. I feel like I've been too caught up with outcome goals in the past and I'm looking to change that this year and achieve more of a balance. All in good time. 🙂

  • Soumi Paul
    Soumi Paul Member Posts: 162 ✭✭✭✭

    A much-required resolution of 2022. I want some behavioral adjustments for my own mental health's sake. I want to cut down on negative overthinking and gaslight myself.

    Communication is the key to thriving! 😊

  • Shruti Turner
    Shruti Turner Member Posts: 401 ✭✭✭✭✭

    What a great mindset - whatever it is from! Yes another thing to add to the list of things I admire about you, @Andrea Hayward . Other POVs really are a great nudge for personal growth (I think at least for me) - it can be so easy to be trapped in my own echo chamber!

    I don't think I've ever admitted that I ever did that before, so thank you for the safe space! I always felt like i had to give the impression I was as diligent as people thought/couldn't admit to those who expect more from me. Alas, I am only human! It's good to hear you've made progress. I think I've got with the all or nothing approach..I now refuse to set a time..I'm going to do it or not. Sometimes that doesn't work in my favour for doing things I need to, but at least I am honest with myself now haha

    You've got this!! I think for any change to be sustainable it has to be gradual..whether that's mental health or change to diet. *All in good time* is the perfect phrase to me :)

  • Shruti Turner
    Shruti Turner Member Posts: 401 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Sounds like a great resolution! Be kind to yourself on your journey <3

  • Adaora Anyichie - Odis
    Adaora Anyichie - Odis Member Posts: 111 ✭✭✭

    My number 1 goal for 2022 is to practice self-care daily. Life has no duplicate. @Andrea Hayward every other word in that picture is my new year's resolution.

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 710 admin
    edited January 21

    @Soumi Paul I recently came across a post that spoke about the power of validating ourselves. Sure, it's great to receive external validation and self-validation is not a replacement. But I found this image very helpful. It offers help with rephrasing negative thoughts into more accepting and positive thoughts. Maybe it could help you too?


  • Soumi Paul
    Soumi Paul Member Posts: 162 ✭✭✭✭

    @Shruti Turner Thank you so much for your support! I shall try my best.☺️🤗

    Communication is the key to thriving! 😊

  • Soumi Paul
    Soumi Paul Member Posts: 162 ✭✭✭✭

    @Andrea Hayward Thank you so much for sharing this post with me, us! It's quite relatable to what I am going through and I needed this post.☺️🤗

    Communication is the key to thriving! 😊