Me and my world — R Voice

Me and my world

Yufita Chinta
Yufita Chinta Member Posts: 139 ✭✭✭✭

I am not sure if the Meet&Greet game is still going around, but since I've been tagged by @Andrea Hayward a long time a go, I feel that I want to do this now.

I've been taking a long break, due to my upside down mental condition. One day I feel good and say "I'm fine. No matter with the past, I can handle it and let's move on forward!". On the next day I feel bad again: cry for the past, blame myself, etc etc etc. I tried to make myself as busy as possible, to switch my focus. Still, the days with the bad feelings come. It means that I have to look for the roots of my bad feelings to end this rollercoaster drama of my life. So I decide to take a break for unlimited time. Now, I am coming back. This time, I hope to have this positive feeling as long as possible.

Ow, let me introduce myself. My name's Yufita Chinta. I've been called Chinta for the last 11 years. I'm called Yufita in this forum, which is exciting because it recalls my memories before 2010. I'm a researcher in Field Science Center for Northern Biosphere in Hokkaido University, Japan. I study about interactions of soil-microbes-plant in sustainable agriculture system using the organic materials/fertilizers (e.g., cover crops). A short story about my research: It has been known that organic materials are friendly for environment, compared with chemical materials. The environment covers soil microbes that can be beneficially contribute to plant growth. So I evaluate the responses of soil microbes to the input of organic materials and how soil microbes subsequently support plant growth. If organic materials can maintain the benefits of soil microbes for long term, sustainable agriculture can be achieved. In my break time, recently, I love writing my diaries and talking to my reflection in the mirror 😅. I know it's silly but I feel better to know myself in this way.

Talking about how I meet R Voice. I know R Voice from another platform, FB. I have had my low point when I joined Researcher Voice (this is what R Voice is named in FB). I am back a little by little through the mentoring program of Researcher Voice. The community also helps me a lot during my preparation for the PhD viva. I am still active in Researcher Voice, while joining this platform. I was afraid in the beginning to enter this platform. I am afraid of being intimidating because I know little about being researcher, less researcher experiences, etc etc etc. In fact, I am welcomed warmly here. I am allowed to be honest with my feelings to get positive vibes at every bad moment I have and be honest to others to share back the strength and positive vibes. It's so warm, so that I feel R Voice is a home for me as a human and researcher at the same time. The members of R Voice also help me on the mental health and publication issues. I feel that the sense of the human-scientist of mine is growing up in R Voice.

Recently, I realize that I can put a super short bio in my IG. Then, I am thinking about who I am for myself. While smiling, I find that I am A HAPPY WOMAN, A HAPPY CHILD, A HAPPY SISTER, A HAPPY WIFE, A HAPPY FRIEND, and A FINE RESEARCHER. I am sometimes unhappy, but it's beautiful to feel unhappy because then I know how precious to be happy is.

Happy R Voice to you all.

Comments

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 881 admin

    Thank you for posting such a heartfelt introduction, Yufita (I was tempted to call you Chinta but I'm sticking to R Voice tradition) 🤗

    I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through a difficult time 😔 From your description, it seems like you're doing your best to stay afloat, and I realize that it's not the easiest thing to do on difficult days. But I want to take this moment to remind you that it's perfectly okay to have a bad day sometimes. And no matter how hard we try to maintain the positive feeling and outlook, some days are going to be more difficult than others. But there's nothing wrong with that! We're only human 🙂

    I don't know if you've seen the video series I've been posting on R Voice over the past few weeks. I think you should, whenever you're feeling up to it. The focus is exactly what you're talking about - how some days are better than others. I think you'll find them very relatable and even a little comforting.

    I think this is the first time I've gotten to know about your work in such detail. Thank you for taking the time to explain your research area. I had no idea you were doing such impactful work and in such a crucial area too! 🤩

    Talking to your reflection doesn't sound silly at all. It actually sounds kind of therapeutic. Does talking out loud help you to better process your feelings and make sense of what you're going through?

    I love that you've talked about your journey with us, right from your time on the FB group. I know that this post is going to make @Kakoli Majumder very happy. I too am feeling warm, gooey, happy, and slightly overwhelmed (but the nice kind) after reading how your experience on both platforms has been ❤️😍 I can't help but think about how this journey began for you, the support and guidance you received, and how you've now come full circle to help R Voice support and guide other researchers. That's amazing! It really captures what R Voice is all about, don't you think? 😃

    "I am sometimes unhappy, but it's beautiful to feel unhappy because then I know how precious to be happy is." - I LOVE THIS! And agree with it wholeheartedly. We're so lucky to have you here, Yufita. You're truly a beautiful soul and you share wisdom and good vibes without even realizing what a big impact you're having on other people. I feel fortunate to share space with you. Thank you! 🤗

  • Yufita Chinta
    Yufita Chinta Member Posts: 139 ✭✭✭✭

    @Andrea Hayward let me firstly write what I feel and how I react after watching the video from CACTUS you have recommended. I cry a lot. The feelings can't be expressed because all the things they share happen(ed) to me. I don't know what to do with this up and down feelings I carry. But, at least, I try to open myself to myself.

    Do you know that practicing an oral presentation is better if we practice loudly? I adopt it for my therapy, if it can be called. I loudly say to myself whatever I feel: "I am sad", "I am happy", "It's a beautiful day to start planning the next research, isn't it?", "I disappoint with this person", etc. I think I can separately share this thing more detail someday.

    Your warm response even make me more homey. Thank you so much Andrea.

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 881 admin

    @Yufita Chinta oh no 😥 I'm so sorry that the videos upset you. That wasn't my intention at all 😶

    I'm glad to hear that other parts of my comment made you feel warm and more at home here on R Voice. Sending you a big virtual hug as you start this new week 🤗

    P.S. I think I understand how saying your feelings out loud or saying what you're thinking out loud, can help you to better understand what you're going through or fully acknowledge it, at the very least. Whenever you're feeling up to it, I'd love to hear more about how this helps you. Maybe I could learn to apply it myself even?

  • Jayashree Rajagopalan
    Jayashree Rajagopalan Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 319 admin


    A very happy R Voice to you too @Yufita Chinta Thank you for introducing yourself - doesn't matter if the Meet & Greet series ended, there's never an end date to getting to know each other, especially on a community. And you are an amazing person to get to know, to speak from my own experience. I might call you Chinta one of these days, perhaps when we meet for our next informal catch-up but I am very much used to introducing you as a speaker or panelist as Yufita - force of habit!

    I am sorry you were in a dark place. It must have been tough going through each day. You did the right thing by taking a break - I am no expert but I know how it feels to be down and how taking a complete break from everyone and everything is just what I need to get back on my feet, if not bounce back completely. It's not an easy process and sometimes every hour feels like it's passing in slow motion. If there's anything you think I or the R Voice community can do for you, you know where to find me/how to reach out to the community.

    I am glad to have met you and admire your passion for your field and resilience as a researcher and a human. I have seen you handle good and tough times with a lot of grit and can say the R Voice community is better thanks to you. I follow you on Insta and love the small positive posts you share from time to time. Oh and I am a fellow tea lover (I love my coffee equally!). I hope we get to meet in person and say hello to each other some day. I feel like I might have so many questions for you to be able to hear so many stories from you.

    Happy R Voice to you, once again.

  • Yufita Chinta
    Yufita Chinta Member Posts: 139 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2021

    @Andrea Hayward do not be sorry for the videos. I know you didn't mean to. I am just speechless because I have what the researchers have/had. Crying is the only expression I can do. But in the end, I feel so overwhelmed that they could bravely speak up (for me). Well, I am crying again right now 😢 But, seriously, I will be fine...don't be sorry.

    More than that, I have received the big virtual hug of yours. Thank you ☺️

  • Yufita Chinta
    Yufita Chinta Member Posts: 139 ✭✭✭✭

    @Jayashree Rajagopalan I think you know me well. I thank you for writing this: You did the right thing by taking a break - I am no expert but I know how it feels to be down and how taking a complete break from everyone and everything is just what I need to get back on my feet, if not bounce back completely. Indeed. I always detach myself from everyone and everything when I the bad times come over. And you know it, because I sometimes turn myself into a silent mode. How you understand me make me feel homey here. Thank you.

    Thank you also for following my IG. The posts are kind of my real feelings in alphabets form. I am happy that you find them positive. I definitely want to share tea and coffee with you. I know little about you, so we will need whole evening I guess.☕️🍵