This is so relatable! What are some of the other annoying questions you've been asked? Keep adding to the list. 😄 Tag at least one other R Voicer.
I'll go first:
So, when will you actually start working?
@Hollie McDonnell @Karen Hall Keep adding to the list. Don't forget to tag someone else. 😁
What year are you going to graduate?
This question always turns me off
I have two.
@Shruti Turner @Soumi Paul can you think of any more?
You bet! And the worst part is, they ask you the same question even when you meet them a few weeks or months later! 😥
The first one's really epic! Who asks that?? :D :D Regarding the second one, since there's a perceived respect and if I may say so "prestige" associated with being a PhD, people often assume it must be a well-paid profession - and I don't really blame them - it should be well-paid, considering it involves such hard work and excellence. I can just hope that someday, we will be able to give a positive answer to the second question.
All of the above mentioned in this post are definitely irritators!! The main ones that irritate me are when people ask about my "studies", especially when I try to explain that it's more like "work" and they brush me off and say something about it not being a "real job". Especially when it comes to how hard "a real job" is, with only 20 days leave and set hours etc. - like a PhD isn't tough?
What are you doing next? Even now as a post-doc researcher - when are you going to leave "school" or "studies" and get a job? You're lucky that you still have long summers off - why are you complaining about working hard?
Anything around my personal life: does your husband mind that you are still a student? When are you going to give up on this studying and have a baby/family?
To be honest, a lot I have tried to block out because I can't be doing with that negativity. It makes this more difficult. It also made me feel like if what I really needed to do was quit for my own health, that I would be judged massively for it and so I felt that wasn't an option. A lot of these comments come from ignorant/older family, but my friends are super supportive and ask some of these questions but from a different position. So when I was writing up they would ask how long to go for motivation or because they could see I was struggling/stressed/shutting myself away. Said friends also accept when I gave some non-committal deflecting answer and changed the subject for me. Intent matters to me, a lot.
@Shruti Turner oh gosh I can only imagine how annoying that must be. But anyone who thinks a PhD is not a real job really doesn't know anything about how academia works and should get better informed.
The questions about your personal life are completely out of line 😓
@Andrea Hayward I completely agree about being more informed about how academia works! Alas, I think that is a wider battle to be honest. It's a difficult one to try and fix, we can try and inform those in our circles (which I guess is always the start with these things!) I don't know when I learned what a PhD was...I feel like somehow I always knew haha (probably not true, but I feel it says a lot that we get taught about university in a one dimensional sort of way)
Yes - I agree about personal life questions in any context. I go with the approach of asking an open question and take the person's lead on how personal the conversation can be!