Brave decision for my mental health
I've been absent from social media for awhile, due to a condolence news and some bad situation I had at school and office. So, I am sorry that I could not respond the tags in discussion posts in this platform. I am not totally okay, but I decide to recall my positive spirit and restart every positive thing on my life, including by sharing my personal story to you. It won't be detailed (I'm still traumatized to remember each moment), but I hope someone can extract the message.
I worked as a part-timer in a company since March this year. I love the job so much. Unfortunately, I had to deal with some situations that disturb my mental health. Here, I want to share a part of the situations. As a beginner, I have few knowledge and skill in the field. I was asked to follow a staff (XX), who is an expert. In some cases, the procedures are wrong. Instead of speaking to XX, my boss (XY) always directly blamed me. The worse, XX muted: no clarification and no defense for me. There, I feel I am always fooled.
And then, it is a pandemic situation today that insists us to be aware. The company well arranges the written rules to restrict any spreading possibility. But, I refused to take vaccination, because of a personal reason. It is fine that my name will be cross out from vaccination recipient list of the company. What is not fine was that XY scolded me and intimidated me. Unfortunately, no witnesses at the moment. One day I was dehydrated causing long fever. While I taking day off for the recovery, XY mailed me about having a dinner outside with all of staffs. In the mail, it is written that the dinner is not a mandatory and it is understandable if I won't join since I am aware of the pandemic situation. I am truly speechless to find a huge contradiction on XY.
I had been patient and kept the discomfort moments for myself. I could not clarify each case and situation to either XX or XY at the time, because of the hierarchy and culture. Because of that, I feel I can't go for longer in the company. Nothing good in the future from the guys. So, I take the extreme decision: leave the company. The only one thing I am sad about is that I have to leave the job I really love.
I had to stand in an intersection: stay for the job I love but possibly being more irritated OR detach myself from the mental health disturbances but lose the job. In the final, I bravely decide the late choice.