Self-care - Essential but difficult and sometimes need practice! — R Voice

Self-care - Essential but difficult and sometimes need practice!

Andrea Hayward
Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 350 admin
edited July 13 in Self-care & Wellbeing

I'm sure we can all agree that self-care is very essential to our wellbeing. But practicing self-care is not easy and sometimes requires a lot of practice. I found this interesting image listing "Difficult Acts of Self-Care." While they might not be what first comes to mind when you hear the term self-care (e.g. bubble baths, skin care, taking a vacation, treating yourself to your favorite meal, etc.), I personally believe that practicing some of these and trying to integrate them into our lives can go a long way to anchoring how we feel about ourselves and how we perceive and react to situations.

What I'd like us all to try here on this thread -

  1. Reflect. Is there any form of self-care that you find particularly difficult? It could be something from the image or something else that you practice.
  2. Pick. From the image below, if you had to pick one difficult act of self-care to practice, which one would you go for?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments! 😊


Comments

  • Mdumiseni Mazula
    Mdumiseni Mazula Member Posts: 44 ✭✭

    You mean self care wow what a difficult act to other people well for me I always thought my self I should love myself be for loving others or I should care about my self not or before I care about others yes I understand there are some people out there they need others same like I'm nothing without them we are all human beings but you should start by care about your self or love your self before you can love or car care about someone else that way will low your stress depression and anxiety I swear you will or can live a better life.

  • Mdumiseni Mazula
    Mdumiseni Mazula Member Posts: 44 ✭✭

    Well standing up for what I believe is simply for me even though other people they disagree, it's all inside you as a human or person what are your gaols dreams or how are you preparing your future what do you want to achieve have you started yet if not what are you waiting for or what are you going to do tomorrow, I mean you can't say I want to achieve this and that but you always saying eish but how I feel about can't, yes you can believe to your self pray God to give you more time and more positive thoughts than thinking about negative thoughts or listening to negative people I mean negative people always disagree with you if you have positive thoughts

  • Shruti Turner
    Shruti Turner Member Posts: 242 ✭✭✭✭

    Ooh, @Andrea Hayward I feel like you shared this image just for me. These acts of self care really run deep, and are as important if not more important that the day-to-day ones like you mention. I do believe they both have their place...how can we think to address these deep ones without the maintenance day to day?

    I feel I am better at the acts of "self-care" that help others e.g. breaking toxic cycles. The rest which are actually fully about me are the tough ones! I look at that list and my default is to think "****, no wonder I am a mess..I don't do those things" but then take a step back and (ironically) reading through again I realise that it is a journey. If I look back at where I was 1, 3, 5 years ago the journey I have come on to look after myself has come some way.

    By no means am I "perfect" at looking after myself, but this (in my view) is part of friendships and other relationships. Support in all directions is what keeps us on the right track, reminding us of the things that we aren't so good at doing ourselves. I know I hear my own advice in my husband's words (which irritates me massively, but I know he does it on purpose to show I do really believe what he is saying!) I have had a friend tell me I was being silly, because what would I say to her in the same position? Sometimes these acts of tough love are what remind me to look after myself (if I can claim it as looking after myself...really it's them looking out for me!)

    Your post really has given me a bee in my bonnet, I am mulling over the words and phrases and how I can take steps to do those things...thank you for sharing! Maybe after a little bit I'll be able to articulate my thoughts better..

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 350 admin

    @Mdumiseni Mazula I haven't come across too many people who say that self-care comes naturally to them and am always amazed when I do. I love that this is the case for you and I'm sure there's a lot I could learn from you. 🙂

    I really appreciate your views on caring and that it should start with yourself. Sure, taking care of the people around us is always rewarding but I personally believe that we can't pour from an empty cup. As you've rightly said, we can only take care of others if we properly take care of ourselves first! ❤️

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 350 admin

    Standing up for what you believe in even when other people disagree - this is definitely a tough one to practice consistently. I love that you've said that this is fairly simple for you to do because everything that you do and are working towards is coming from inside you and that's all you need to believe in yourself and your dreams. It's a very inspiring and profound stance. Thank you for sharing! 😊

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 350 admin
    edited July 15

    "How can we think to address these deep ones without the maintenance day-to-day?" @Shruti Turner this is spot on! And I fully agree with it even though I failed to mention it. Thank you for adding this!

    I'm sorry if this post made you feel poorly in any way. That was definitely not my intention. In fact, I feel like we had a similar reaction to the picture. When I first came across it, I started thinking that I'm not nearly as good at self-care as I think, and I was almost trying to tick-off which of these I've tried. But then after thinking about it some more and reflecting a bit, I realized that this is not the point of the post or picture at all.

    Instead, I realized that in my own way, I've been trying to do some of these over the past couple of years - not even realizing that they could be considered as self-care! And I also realized that I've made improvements and am better off than when I started out. Of course, it will never be perfect because there's no such thing but I'm liking the journey and all that I'm learning about myself and life as a part of it.

    I agree that self-care that tends to be fully about you are always the toughest! From the list, 2 things that I've struggled with are unlearning damaging coping skills and accepting that it's okay to prioritize myself and that I don't have to earn this. I feel like I'm at a stage where I'm quicker to identify when I'm doing the complete opposite of these and also quicker to stop the cycle from perpetuating. I'm not sure if I'll ever reach a space where it comes naturally to me or becomes a way of life but this work in progress phase is definitely better than not doing anything at for me. 🙂

    Gosh, that seemed like a rant. I hope I'm making sense. 😅

  • Shruti Turner
    Shruti Turner Member Posts: 242 ✭✭✭✭

    Please, there is definitely no need to apologise @Andrea Hayward and your entire post makes sense to me!

    I feel the opportunities for the most growth are the ones that make us a little uncomfortable and prompt us to reflect. I am actually proud of the steps I took from my initial reaction to the place I was when I wrote the post.

    Like you, I feel that the improvements are the key to focus on and perfection is just a mirage! It has taken me a long time to realise that the pursuit of perfection is the enemy of fulfilment/happiness. I've spent most of my life not appreciating or even acknowledging my successes because I was never as good as I wanted to be, which in my mind had to be perfect.

    In my mind, this exchange and the acknowledgement of our development areas but also the improvements we've made are the exact point of this post. We've smashed this! 🤩

  • Andrea Hayward
    Andrea Hayward Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 350 admin

    "I feel the opportunities for the most growth are the ones that make us a little uncomfortable and prompt us to reflect." - @Shruti Turner agree 100%. I'm proud of both of us for how we've approached this post and the progress we've made with simply acknowledging how far we've come and appreciating the journey 😊

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